Spring - the season of new beginnings and brilliant transformations - it's simply natural for us to look inward at ourselves and make a vow to renew, refresh and pump-up our own self-image. It feels good (and right!) to step things up and shrug off those quieter winter habits as the season begins. Spring is a time to set the tone for your lifestyle during the warmer months of the year - to try new things, take up imagined projects you may have dropped, and to update your skills. If this concept sounds inspiring, but you're short on ideas, try the following five tips.
1. Grow
It's said that the mind is a terrible thing to waste. So turn on your brain in different ways. Have you always wanted to learn a foreign language? Take a class at a local college or language school. How long has it been since you read a book? Check out the newest bestsellers and get yourself a page-turner to curl up with on a quiet afternoon in the park. Are you already overly intellectual? Sometimes the best brain-food in this case is exercise. Take advantage of spring weather - go on a nature hike, break out your bicycle or tennis racquet, or enroll in an outdoor yoga class.
2. Bloom
Revamping your self-image has to happen on the inside for any lasting results, but it certainly doesn't hurt to get a little help on the outside. Don't go breaking the bank, but also don't forget that you deserve something special every now and then, like fresh new sleepwear or a colorful update to your wardrobe. Don't be afraid to stretch your style limits. Go for something that might even scare you a little. Mix it up!
3. Be colorful
Hit the salon or the makeup counter. You don't need to spend tons of money to revamp your look for spring. Sometimes one new shade of lipstick or nail color is just the ticket. Talk to your hair stylist about a trim or an update! Once you trim off those dead ends, we promise you'll feel ten times better.
4. Recharge
Making time to be alone with your thoughts in a quiet or inspiring place can help you cut through the mists and veils that cloud your vision on a regular day. Allow yourself the time to visit a place you love to walk and meditate and think calmly about the ways in which you can live a better, more enjoyable life. Allow yourself this practice and windows will open in your heart and mind, letting in the fresh air.
5. Flourish
Whether it's having dinner with a friend, joining a club or volunteering, getting out and socializing is an important outlet. If you're single, you can focus on developing friendships, as this often opens the doors to meeting other people. If you're short on time, you can combine a self-improvement activity with socializing or looking for a new romance. With patience and passion, and remembering always to be gentle with yourself, this spring can be transformational to the rest of your (happier!) life.
It's said that the mind is a terrible thing to waste. So turn on your brain in different ways. Have you always wanted to learn a foreign language? Take a class at a local college or language school. How long has it been since you read a book? Check out the newest bestsellers and get yourself a page-turner to curl up with on a quiet afternoon in the park. Are you already overly intellectual? Sometimes the best brain-food in this case is exercise. Take advantage of spring weather - go on a nature hike, break out your bicycle or tennis racquet, or enroll in an outdoor yoga class.
2. Bloom
Revamping your self-image has to happen on the inside for any lasting results, but it certainly doesn't hurt to get a little help on the outside. Don't go breaking the bank, but also don't forget that you deserve something special every now and then, like fresh new sleepwear or a colorful update to your wardrobe. Don't be afraid to stretch your style limits. Go for something that might even scare you a little. Mix it up!
3. Be colorful
Hit the salon or the makeup counter. You don't need to spend tons of money to revamp your look for spring. Sometimes one new shade of lipstick or nail color is just the ticket. Talk to your hair stylist about a trim or an update! Once you trim off those dead ends, we promise you'll feel ten times better.
4. Recharge
Making time to be alone with your thoughts in a quiet or inspiring place can help you cut through the mists and veils that cloud your vision on a regular day. Allow yourself the time to visit a place you love to walk and meditate and think calmly about the ways in which you can live a better, more enjoyable life. Allow yourself this practice and windows will open in your heart and mind, letting in the fresh air.
5. Flourish
Whether it's having dinner with a friend, joining a club or volunteering, getting out and socializing is an important outlet. If you're single, you can focus on developing friendships, as this often opens the doors to meeting other people. If you're short on time, you can combine a self-improvement activity with socializing or looking for a new romance. With patience and passion, and remembering always to be gentle with yourself, this spring can be transformational to the rest of your (happier!) life.
Perfection. If you think about it, it's a really funny concept. Not funny as in ha, ha, but funny as in strange. After all, almost everything in life is subjective. We all have our opinions - whether about politics, attractiveness or the best way to spend a Saturday night. Yet still, so many of us assume that our vision of perfection is universal and seek out ways to bring ourselves closer to our version of flawlessness. To what end? Disappointment? Disillusionment? Exhaustion? It's a futile quest, perfection seeking. And leaving it behind takes only a small shift of perception - but it's one that will change your life.
Nurture vs. nature
On a grand scale, perfection does exist - and we're part of it! Atoms had to come together to create the molecules which form every living and non-living thing on the planet. As part of that natural order, human beings then, by our very essence, are perfection - otherwise, we wouldn't exist. Unfortunately, though, at some point nature (flawlessness) gave way to society (judgment). It was then that our own perception of ourselves as nature's ideal was lost in favor of - believe it or not - trend.
Soceity
Throughout history, different cultures have determined that certain characteristics are better than others for a variety of reasons (very few of which are based on anything remotely close to reality... how else would Paris Hilton be an icon?). Whereas these days, it seems, the skinnier and crazier you are the more likely you are to be idolized and idealized, there was a day when being overweight was a status symbol (it meant you were rich enough to have something to eat!)- Corpulence indicated wealth and the portlier the better!
Idealism
What this all means, is that however we define an ideal at this very moment, it's not gospel - and it's bound to change. In fact, there is no such thing as perfection, objectively speaking. What appeals to one person will not always appeal to another (and certainly not to everyone). Yet, perfectionism is most often driven by the way others will see us (and our desire to be loved and respected). Yet what really matters is how you perceive yourself. So, rather than chasing an impossible goal - and one that would, very possibly render life pretty boring (after all, our mistakes are where we grow) - perhaps it's time to consider a change of your life's motives.
On a grand scale, perfection does exist - and we're part of it! Atoms had to come together to create the molecules which form every living and non-living thing on the planet. As part of that natural order, human beings then, by our very essence, are perfection - otherwise, we wouldn't exist. Unfortunately, though, at some point nature (flawlessness) gave way to society (judgment). It was then that our own perception of ourselves as nature's ideal was lost in favor of - believe it or not - trend.
Soceity
Throughout history, different cultures have determined that certain characteristics are better than others for a variety of reasons (very few of which are based on anything remotely close to reality... how else would Paris Hilton be an icon?). Whereas these days, it seems, the skinnier and crazier you are the more likely you are to be idolized and idealized, there was a day when being overweight was a status symbol (it meant you were rich enough to have something to eat!)- Corpulence indicated wealth and the portlier the better!
Idealism
What this all means, is that however we define an ideal at this very moment, it's not gospel - and it's bound to change. In fact, there is no such thing as perfection, objectively speaking. What appeals to one person will not always appeal to another (and certainly not to everyone). Yet, perfectionism is most often driven by the way others will see us (and our desire to be loved and respected). Yet what really matters is how you perceive yourself. So, rather than chasing an impossible goal - and one that would, very possibly render life pretty boring (after all, our mistakes are where we grow) - perhaps it's time to consider a change of your life's motives.
Imperfection by design
Put plainly, screwing up sucks. None of us wants to disappoint people. But it's a fact of life. And rather than chasing an impossible goal (to never make mistakes, to always be on top of your game), why not accept that you are not - and never will be - perfect, by anyone's standards. Not only is this okay - it's by design! So often, perfectionism drives us to beat ourselves up for every misstep or mistake, when without them, we'd never learn. In a Stepford universe, free from error, our species would never evolve. While our physical bodies are "perfect" in nature's eyes (and meant to be cared for, not abused), spiritually, we all have room to grow. That is life's beautiful journey, and imperfection is a part of taking it, not only for ourselves, but as part of the expansion of human consciousness. Sure we all want to be our best. And yes, it's important to act with integrity and respect for yourself and those around you. But unrealistic standards don't to anything but take you close to neurosis, and further from your best self - the one where you're taking optimal care of your needs and you look and feel great… just the way you are.
Put plainly, screwing up sucks. None of us wants to disappoint people. But it's a fact of life. And rather than chasing an impossible goal (to never make mistakes, to always be on top of your game), why not accept that you are not - and never will be - perfect, by anyone's standards. Not only is this okay - it's by design! So often, perfectionism drives us to beat ourselves up for every misstep or mistake, when without them, we'd never learn. In a Stepford universe, free from error, our species would never evolve. While our physical bodies are "perfect" in nature's eyes (and meant to be cared for, not abused), spiritually, we all have room to grow. That is life's beautiful journey, and imperfection is a part of taking it, not only for ourselves, but as part of the expansion of human consciousness. Sure we all want to be our best. And yes, it's important to act with integrity and respect for yourself and those around you. But unrealistic standards don't to anything but take you close to neurosis, and further from your best self - the one where you're taking optimal care of your needs and you look and feel great… just the way you are.
A stron
g, healthy friendship enriches your life. It doesn't overburden you, make unreasonable demands on your time or make you suffer. While it's important to treasure your good friends - to make time for them, listen, laugh and cry together - it's just as important to know when it's time to cut the umbilical cord. You may not be able to choose your relatives, but friends are a different story! Sometimes, we stay in friendships long past their expiration dates out of comfort and habit. We feel that because someone has always been in our lives, he or she is a "friend." But that isn't necessarily the case. If you've been wondering why you're feeling resentful of someone or questioning whether or not a so-called friend is really worth your investment, here's a litmus test for letting go.Ask yourself does he or she...
• Consistently hurt your feelings?
• Chip away at your self-esteem?
• Spoil happy times with a bad attitude?
• Make you feel physically or emotionally ill?
• Waste your time by not showing up or calling when they said they would?
• Consume your time and energy by sucking you into their dramas and bad habits?
• Demand too much of your time and or try to limit your contact with others?
• Offer friendship only at their convenience and express little interest in what's going on in your life?
• Get in the way of your personal, emotional and spiritual growth?
If you found yourself saying yes to many - or most - of those questions, it may be time to end the relationship.
How to let go
The key to getting out of any bad relationship is being open about its problems. If you address the situation, you'll save yourself a great deal of emotional pain and suffering, AND - here's a bonus - you may actually be able to salvage the friendship in the long run.Start out by being honest about your feelings, but avoid accusations. Listen, but also pay attention to the things your friend doesn't say. Then, even if it's temporary, gradually disengage yourself. Speak less on the phone and see each other less frequently. This will give you the space to see things clearly, and allow your friend to digest your discussion.Once things are out in the open, there's only one approach you can take: wait and see what happens. Your friend's behavior will tell you if the relationship is salvageable or if you really do need to leave the relationship behind.Whatever happens, know that, like all things in life, friendships ebb and flow. Even the best ones aren't always easy, and only you can gauge whether or not a particular friendship is worth your while. But when you stand up for yourself in an unhealthy relationship, you exercise respect for yourself. And by letting go of unhealthy attachments, you're being a good friend to yourself!
The Science of Flirting
Flirting is the most natural and baffling process of human interaction. It may seem like an art, but it's a
real science. Research on flirting shows that long lasting couples can actually have an astounding number of similarities that could never be chosen from an online dating profile - similar lung volumes, metabolic rates, wrist circumference and get this… ear lobe length! So how can a pick-up line turn into matching earlobes, you ask? It turns out the process of flirting is a complicated dance of biological checkpoints to help you find a mate with the DNA that you feel most at home with. Even though flirting feels like it may only be a self-esteem boost in the vegetable aisle or attention at a party, it's actually an evolutionary process of mate selection. There is no playing fair in survival of the fittest. Everyone's experienced the baffling feeling of meeting someone who is "good on paper" but the zing just isn't there. That's Mother Nature insuring that we continue on! So, here's a scientific look at the more serious side of flirting.
Flirting is the most natural and baffling process of human interaction. It may seem like an art, but it's a
real science. Research on flirting shows that long lasting couples can actually have an astounding number of similarities that could never be chosen from an online dating profile - similar lung volumes, metabolic rates, wrist circumference and get this… ear lobe length! So how can a pick-up line turn into matching earlobes, you ask? It turns out the process of flirting is a complicated dance of biological checkpoints to help you find a mate with the DNA that you feel most at home with. Even though flirting feels like it may only be a self-esteem boost in the vegetable aisle or attention at a party, it's actually an evolutionary process of mate selection. There is no playing fair in survival of the fittest. Everyone's experienced the baffling feeling of meeting someone who is "good on paper" but the zing just isn't there. That's Mother Nature insuring that we continue on! So, here's a scientific look at the more serious side of flirting.Scan it!
Men enter a social situation and scan the area looking for potential mates. They generally give the same amount of eye contact to each woman, enough time to assess physical beauty and to see if their searching look returns any glances. For woman, scanning is out! Women are pickier, glancing around for fractions of a second looking to see who's available without committing to one suitor. But once a woman makes a choice, her stare, even for just ten seconds, tells the male to "come hither." Though men cast a wide net, they want to think that the person who is staring at them is selective. So if a woman looks everywhere, meeting many glances, the male's interest declines. Yup, it's pretty lopsided, but proliferation of the species is about securing the mate, not political correctness.
Subliminal messages
Body language is the key, the lock and the door to flirting. It's more than half the reason that people make that love connection. Women express their interest by revealing their neck and underside of their wrist. By tilting the head or flipping back their hair they are showing a man that he can come closer. When they do move in exchanging pheromones is crucial. Our immune systems are seeking out compatible systems to exchange the really important stuff - DNA. And each one of us tells others of our inner bacterial worlds through smell. After that on the list of physical checkpoints is tone of voice - which far supersedes witty banter, according to research.
Men enter a social situation and scan the area looking for potential mates. They generally give the same amount of eye contact to each woman, enough time to assess physical beauty and to see if their searching look returns any glances. For woman, scanning is out! Women are pickier, glancing around for fractions of a second looking to see who's available without committing to one suitor. But once a woman makes a choice, her stare, even for just ten seconds, tells the male to "come hither." Though men cast a wide net, they want to think that the person who is staring at them is selective. So if a woman looks everywhere, meeting many glances, the male's interest declines. Yup, it's pretty lopsided, but proliferation of the species is about securing the mate, not political correctness.
Subliminal messages
Body language is the key, the lock and the door to flirting. It's more than half the reason that people make that love connection. Women express their interest by revealing their neck and underside of their wrist. By tilting the head or flipping back their hair they are showing a man that he can come closer. When they do move in exchanging pheromones is crucial. Our immune systems are seeking out compatible systems to exchange the really important stuff - DNA. And each one of us tells others of our inner bacterial worlds through smell. After that on the list of physical checkpoints is tone of voice - which far supersedes witty banter, according to research.
Mirror, mirror on the wall
Regardless of who's considered hot in your social set, guess who we pick for the long haul? People who look just like us! The person who has that elusive familial feeling generally does look like family. So, though the supermodels may have the advantage during the initial scan of the room, the lasting bond will likely be with someone who doesn't look out of place in a family portrait. Even when people are shown pictures of strangers and asked to select the person they would want to take on a date, they consistently pick people who look like they do! And now here's the Freudian bit - on even closer examination, people have a particular preference for people who look like their parents. So women want men who look like dad and men want women who look like mom.
Do the math
Ever lamented that you have a big nose? Well, it turns out that the size of your nose matters little, but whether your eyes are in proportion to your nose matters a lot! Men have a strong preference for symmetry in the face while women are more forgiving if some features don't quite add up. And moving further into the science of proportions and mating, it's not what you weigh, but instead, it's a hip to waist ratio of 7 (divide waist by hip measurements) that attracts men. As women get older and become less fertile the waist area tends to fill in. Now that you know the science behind the art, use it to your advantage. Remember, don't sweat the small stuff, just play up your assets and let biology take its course.
Regardless of who's considered hot in your social set, guess who we pick for the long haul? People who look just like us! The person who has that elusive familial feeling generally does look like family. So, though the supermodels may have the advantage during the initial scan of the room, the lasting bond will likely be with someone who doesn't look out of place in a family portrait. Even when people are shown pictures of strangers and asked to select the person they would want to take on a date, they consistently pick people who look like they do! And now here's the Freudian bit - on even closer examination, people have a particular preference for people who look like their parents. So women want men who look like dad and men want women who look like mom.
Do the math
Ever lamented that you have a big nose? Well, it turns out that the size of your nose matters little, but whether your eyes are in proportion to your nose matters a lot! Men have a strong preference for symmetry in the face while women are more forgiving if some features don't quite add up. And moving further into the science of proportions and mating, it's not what you weigh, but instead, it's a hip to waist ratio of 7 (divide waist by hip measurements) that attracts men. As women get older and become less fertile the waist area tends to fill in. Now that you know the science behind the art, use it to your advantage. Remember, don't sweat the small stuff, just play up your assets and let biology take its course.
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